A Path to Maintaining Grandparent-Grandchild Bonds After Divorce
Divorce is an unfortunate but necessary step in litigating the breakdown of a marriage, and describes the end of almost half the UK’s marriages. The divorce process may be a formal process governing, amongst other things, the arrangement of child custody and the fair separation of assets, but it touches far more people than those at the centre of the household.
Relatives and loved ones of the divorcing couple bear their fair share of difficulties, from emotional support to physical and financial assistance where costs get tricky. Those most affected are often the parents of the divorcing parties, who not only have to consider supporting their children through the most difficult of civil processes but also have to contend with the possibility of estrangement from their grandchildren in the process.
Challenges After Divorce
Not all divorces are amicable splits, and some of the more acrimonious divorces can see child custody battles become drawn-out and even vindictive. In these cases, it can be unclear exactly what the outcome will be with respect to child custody, and indeed with respect to grandparent visitation. Functionally, grandparents may find themselves cut off from being present in their grandchildren’s lives.
Here, it is worth addressing what has become an oft-repeated mistruth in family forums and casual discussion around family law: contrary to popular belief, grandparents do not have any enshrined or automatic right to see their grandchildren. This holds just as true outside of divorce as it does via divorce proceeds, but with specific regard to a separating family, this means that an ex-spouse with full custody would have absolutely no legal need to provide their ex-parents-in-law access to their children (unless a child arrangements order found evidence of mistreatment ).
The Benefits of Mediation
With there being no immediate legal route to accessing grandchildren visitation without evidence of poor welfare, the only meaningful route to remaining present in a grandchild’s life is via mediation. This is exactly the process family law professionals would advise towards, unless in egregious cases of post-court abuse and violence.
Mediation sees members of a family meet up under the supervision of a third party, in order to discuss potential future arrangements for visitation. These Mediation Information and Assessment Meetings are a low-conflict opportunity to make personal cases for contact and visitation and can be an excellent neutral ground for covering the more difficult aspects of a divorce.
Moving Forward
Mediation is not a guaranteed success for grandparents, and often the fallout of a difficult divorce – particularly in instances where the grandparents’ child was a perpetrator of violence and abuse in the marriage – can make any hopes of reconciliation seem remote. It is for this reason that skilled mediation is the best route to visitation and that legal checks and balances exist post-divorce to ensure that the child’s well-being is still being considered.
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